Flashback jokes to 2002

Who's got two thumbs and just passed her glucose test? THIS GIRL (points to self with thumbs)!!!

I am nailing the start of the third trimester. That's right, officially in the last of the trimesters. Bring it. (Until I have to start thinking about labor, #1 most dreaded part of pregnancy. But we don't have to think about that yet, right? Right. Savor today's victory, I say.)

And for the record, it was the latter.

Dread

Tomorrow is the second most dreaded thing for me (at least in my mind) of this pregnancy: The Glucose Test (TGT). I have heard everything from "it's wretched and awful and you're going to want to vomit" to "it's not that bad, quit being such a baby." Let's pray for the latter.

If I'm being honest, I don't even know what happens if TGT shows I have gestational diabetes. Does it go away after you have the baby? Gosh, I hope so, because I've seen Jonas Andrew give himself diabetes shots and it does not look like my bliss. Do you have to give yourself shots if you have GD? I can't even start to go down this twisted path of dread. Instead, let's return to paragraph one and pray for the latter.

Fingers crossed, friends!

Letters to Papoose: #2

Dear Vulture Baby,

Feeling your little baby karate chops and patented 1 - 2 punch combos is probably one of the neatest  experiences of my life. I love it, real talk. However, just because we have to get up for a bathroom break at 3 a.m. does NOT mean it's time to practice your wax-on, wax-off moves for an hour and keep mama awake. Let's save that for three months from now, shall we?

xoxo Mama Bird

26

By now you've most likely seen this picture, but for posterity's sake here is a photo of Vulture and I at 26 weeks. I received a number of requests from folks up north who had yet to see a photo of me pregnant and thus, the first and perhaps only photo I will post of myself on facebook. Enjoy.

H lent me this mat dress. I enjoy it both because it is a size I should not be able to squeeze
into and because it is fairly flattering. Thanks H!

T-14 weeks.

Letters to papoose: #1

Dear Baby Vulture,

People say that if you have heartburn when you are pregnant, it means that your baby will have a lot of hair. Now, that sounds like it might be hokum, but if it's not, I really hope you don't look like a miniature orangutang.

xoxo,
Mama Bird

How a pillow changed my life.

I know, bold title, but I totally mean it. I have always been a terrifically poor sleeper. I toss and turn and need a pillow between my legs for my achy old lady back and then when I reposition the pillow is stubborn and I wake up and then I can't get back to sleep and then Mike or Sven or both are snoring and then Sven is laying on top of the blankets making it impossible for me to move and and and... So forest through the trees, sleep is kind of a nightmare for me.

You can imagine how excited I have been for pregnancy sleep which is, notoriously, horrible. My darling husband bought me a regular body pillow for my 30th birthday as a fake out gift. (Real gift, right hand rose gold ring, he did good, you guys.)

So I thought, yay, body pillow, the answer to my pregnancy sleep! And let me tell you, it's really great for when you first fall asleep on the one side. Super, in fact, right up until my restless self starts thrashing about like a sleepy killer whale. One of my coworkers told me when I was first pregnant that I should really get a super-industrial, amazing, Cadillac pregnancy sleeping pillow (my words, she probably said something normal like "u-shaped pregnancy pillow") and I thought it was a good idea. Then I received said fake-out birthday gift and I thought, well, that will work, no need to buy an additional body pillow. But I was wrong about that, like I've been wrong about most things lately (I can wear 4 inch heels through my pregnancy...).

Then, one fabulous day 2 weeks ago, Zulily (equally the best and worst thing that has ever happened to me) had some posh super-industrial, amazing, Cadillac pregnancy sleeping pillows on sale and I jumped on it, friends. Easily some of the best $50 I have ever spent. This pillow is like sleeping in a hug. A hug that doesn't snore and breath on your neck and keep you awake (that's right, I said it, I'm not a cuddly sleeper and I don't care who knows it). I have slept so amazing the last 2 weeks. I'm not overstating when I say this pillow chanced my life. I'm pretty sure I'm never giving this pillow up. This is not *exactly* what my husband wants to hear. I mean, this thing is fairly sizable and sets up a pretty impenetrable barrier between the two of us. After 30 some odd years of horrible sleep (I'm assuming I slept poorly as a child, I don't really recall), he can suck an egg, because my new bestie, Pillow Fluffington, stays (unless he really, really makes a fuss because I value my marriage and all of that).

Finally, a glimpse of the pillow in action. I had to persuade him to let me put this photo on my blog, but he wasn't' happy about it. You know what he was happy about? Sleeping in a hug while I readied myself for work.

Best husband and pillow I've ever had.